how to cure depression1. go into the shower.put the heat as highas it will go and watchyour skin turn scarlet.savor the pain. [it's the only way you know that you're not dead.]2.lather your loofahwith too much soap.scrub your bodyas hard as you can.pretend depression is filth,and you're simply washing it off.keep scrubbing.don't stop until your skin is rawand red and the tears are warmand flow without restraint. [letting the tears out is the only way to keep from drowning.]3.sit in the bottom of the showerand cry as loud as needed.use the noise to muffle your tears.try not to feel the sobsas they rack your body too hard. [everything is too goddamn hard.]4. pretend you're ok.when people ask,lie and say your fine. [know you're not fine.]5.when your body is drowning,try and learn to swim.know it won't work
I Am BROKEN, I Am NOTHINGWords cannot expressThe feelings or emotionsThat hurricane inside meEvery passing secondNothing ever satisfiesMe ir my peersI am not perfectBut I am not flawedI am brokenBut they don't know itMasked in laughterAnd in hatredScare awayWho might understandNo one to discuss withParents join the clanTough outer exteriorWeak and trembling insideMaybe I should just leaveWith no hello-goodbyeIt's not like they would careThey'd laugh at my dismayI should disappearNot return againI'm not worth the timeNo one will put inI am not perfectBut I am not flawedI am nothing
Gauche and gesso on illustration board. 15" x 10". 2013.
Every year around the holidays, I think of the empty chairs, those left by departed loved ones. This empty chair is my Aunt Margaret's who passed away last January.